Tuesday, December 10, 2019

The New Dynasties

In the living room of a mansion in ritzy Brentwood, California, two of America’s most ubiquitous moms are locked in hand-to-hand combat.

“F#@K you, bitch!” screams Kris Jenner, grabbing a fistful of Yolanda Hadid’s ruby silk blouse. The mastermind behind the Kardashian–Jenner juggernaut is wearing a blue satin wrap dress with padded shoulders. Her medium-length black wig is styled into an ’80s power perm. Her shrieks echo off the vaulted ceiling, rattling the stained-glass windows.

“I hate you, bitch!” Hadid shouts, throttling Jenner by the neck.

Hadid, the Dutch-born former star of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, who is mother to models Gigi, Bella, and Anwar, is wearing a crimson pantsuit with puffy sleeves. Her platinum wig has been configured into a longish, feathered bob with bangs, a style once known universally as the Krystle. “This is my house!” she yells, tightening her grip on Jenner’s throat.

A group of more than 30 has gathered on this hot summer day to re-create a series of legendary fights from the ’80s TV megahit Dynasty. Jenner has been cast as the evil Alexis Carrington Colby, a character immortalized by Joan Collins. Hadid plays her rival, Krystle Carrington, the role created by Linda Evans. A certain giddy hilarity prevails.


“Of course, Joan Collins is really a total sweetheart,” Jenner says. “I just texted her. I was like, ‘I’m dressed as you for a photo shoot.’ And she said, ‘Send me a pic ASAP!’ So I did. She got a kick out of the fact that I was going to be her.”

In the current scene, Krystle has just figured out that Alexis was the one who fired a rifle in the air, spooking Krystle’s horse, causing her to fall and miscarry her child with oil tycoon Blake Carrington. She is confronting Alexis in her art studio, where she’s been painting.

The women wrestle across the set, which has been carefully decorated to look like the original scene. Throughout the day they will reimagine several memorable moments, including an infamous fight in the lily pond; the women gamely participate.

When Dynasty first aired, I watched every episode...Two women getting down and dirty, throwing each other in the pool? It was hugely entertaining.

“She’s killing me!” croaks Jenner. Jenner is a game actor, a little over-the-top. Shooting has to stop a few times because both women are laughing too hard to continue.


“You’re crazy!” Hadid yells. Each time the flash pops, the former Ford model—whose international career spanned 15 years—expertly changes her expression and the angle of her head … meanwhile remembering to continue the “fight.”

“And cut!” says the photographer.

Spontaneous applause.

Jenner and Hadid have known each other for years. You could say they’re almost related. Yolanda is divorced from David Foster, a Canadian composer and record producer. Previously, Foster was married to Linda Thompson, who was previously married to Bruce (now Caitlyn) Jenner before he married and divorced Kris.

Despite some Google items that suggest a minor feud between the two women, they appear genuinely friendly. “It’s fun to spend this kind of time together goofing around,” says Jenner. “Kendall is really good friends with Gigi and Bella, so I’ve had Kris at my house, and she’s been on vacation to Holland with us,” Hadid says. “There’s a bond there between the families.”


“I remember when Dynasty first aired,” Jenner adds. “I watched every episode. Two women getting down and dirty, throwing each other in the pool? It was hugely entertaining.”

Hadid, who grew up on a farm in Holland, says Dynasty was “the first American TV show I ever watched. I must’ve been 15 or so, and I was like, ‘Oh, my God! The women in America are so glamorous.’ And Krystle was my favorite. It’s really funny that I get to play her.”

Both women, who have founded well-known dynasties of their own, acknowledge that times have changed tremendously since the days when Alexis and Krystle were all the rage.

“Women need to support each other, not fight,” Hadid says. “I always tell my kids, ‘Be kind and acknowledge everybody around you. People might not remember your beautiful face, but they’ll remember your beautiful heart.’”

“As a woman, I think it’s important to shine a bright light on other women,” says Jenner.


“In my family,” Hadid adds, “none of the kids are alike, so I learned very early on that I had to manage their characters in very different ways. One is good at academics. The other one isn’t, and so forth. They’re all individuals, right?”

“I’ve worked really hard since they were little to nurture relationships with my children,” says Jenner. “I was the Brownie leader and the soccer coach and the room mother and the carpool driver. I had the time of my life being in charge of my own little tribe.”

“I think you should keep your kids at home until they’re at least 18,” Hadid says. “It’s so important for young girls to develop without cameras, without people judging them on the way they look. They need to fall in love, have heartbreak. They need to go to school. They need to have friends. They need to have all these experiences before they go out into the world.”

Says Jenner: “Kim was the first one to realize, ‘Hey, my mom’s not going to buy me everything I want, so I’ve got to get a job.’ When she was 13 she worked in a clothing store. Then she started her closet organizing business. Her best friend Paris Hilton was one of her first clients. After that, she borrowed money from her dad, bought up all these Manolo Blahnik and Christian Louboutin boots, and sold them for a profit on eBay. My kids were savvy about the Internet. They figured it out fast.”


Even so, Jenner says, endless social media can backfire. “There are people out there who are using social media to just try to get attention. They’re starving for whatever’s missing in their own lives. They’re lashing out at somebody. But there’s really nothing you can do. The haters are gonna hate because they’re miserable. You hope eventually that people realize there’s a lot more to everyone than a couple of pictures on social media. If people put more energy into going out and being a productive human being and getting a really great job and focusing on their own selves, they wouldn’t have time to criticize somebody else on social media in order to make themselves feel better,” she adds. “At times I’ve told my kids, ‘Just stay off the Internet for a while.’”

Hadid pauses to gather her thoughts. A faint ironic smile crosses her lips.

“At this point they’re adults,” she says with a shrug. “They have minds of their own, and they don’t always like what I have to say. But at least they take it into consideration.”

Jenner’s phone rings, interrupting the interview. All morning she’s been taking calls from her kids. Kourtney is in Italy. Kylie is at the zoo with her daughter, Stormi, and boyfriend Travis Scott. Kendall is working in L.A. Rob is running around taking meetings.


Kim was the first one to realize, ‘Hey, my mom’s not going to buy me everything I want, so I’ve got to get a job.’

This time it’s Kim. She’s FaceTiming from . . . the White House.

According to later press reports, she is visiting President Trump to lobby on behalf of rapper A$AP Rocky, who at the time was being held in Sweden on an assault charge. Recently Kim has been working for criminal justice reform and studying independently for a law degree.

Jenner was last at the White House in the early ’90s, visiting George H.W. Bush with Bruce Jenner and a fun cast that included Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dr. Ruth Westheimer, and Dana Carvey and Kevin Nealon from Saturday Night Live, who came in costume as their characters Hans and Franz. “Look at me,” Jenner says with a laugh, holding the phone away so her daughter gets a better view. “I’m dressed as Alexis Carrington. Yolanda is Krystle. Isn’t this a hoot?”

“I don’t know who Alexis Carrington is,” Kim deadpans.

“You know, from Dynasty? Played by Joan Collins?”

“Mom, I’m sorry,” says Kim. “I don’t know who that is.”

“Go Google it,” commands Jenner, “and I’ll call you back.”

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