Choupette Turns 7, But She Doesn’t Look A Day Over 5, OK

Fashion’s most famous feline (sorry Hello Kitty) turned seven yesterday, and to celebrate she took to Instagram to set the record straight on some social etiquette that has been irking her. “I started my social media career before ‘influencers’ were a thing. Please refrain from using this term with moi,” the caption of Karl Lagerfeld’s beloved Birman, Choupette, read.

Well wishes poured in from her 120,000 followers (and that’s just Choupette’s Instagram) and, naturally, “daddy” threw her a lavish-yet-low-key party. A single candle placed in a plate of shrimp and a new toy cat wearing a tie were pictured on her curated feed, which Choupette clarified was not started by Lagerfeld’s team, but @choupettesocialgirl in 2012. “Please stop DMing moi for free @chanelofficial handbags. I can’t hook you up,” she jabbed. Meow.

And the catty comments did not stop there: “My annual salary and net worth are none of your business unless it’s @forbes calling to put me on their next cover. Move over @kyliejenner!” she said in response to those hounding – “unintentional dog pun... yuck!” – Choupette for details about her career.

Next up was the subject of image. Yes, her “eyes are naturally blue and no, [she doesn’t] wear colour contacts. That’s animal cruelty”. Of course, her “maids still pamper [her] every need just like they did when [she] was a kitten," and she "may be '7' but [she doesn't] look a day over 5". Oh, and stop trying to date her: "Instagram isn’t @tinder and that’s just weird.”

The rant could have been part and parcel of Choupette’s plan to score her dream job: "To write a satirical fashion commentary series" for Vogue, Elle or Harper’s Bazaar. Her application was certainly a punchy one. “Holler at your girl!” she urged prospective publications.